Author Interview: Sherry Richert Belul

Author Interview: Sherry Richert Belul

Author Interview: Sherry Richert Belul

I interview wellness authors to find out what makes them tick, and why they write the books they do. 

At the beginning of the pandemic, Sherry Richert Belul, founder of Simply Celebrate and author of Say It Now, along with Brenda Knight, Associate Publisher of Mango Publishing Group, created the Heart Wisdom weekly author panels. Sherry and Brenda felt people needed “Heart Wisdom” to help us all get through. Sherry’s vibrant presence, smart questions, and playful personality makes these Wednesday panels glow. I knew you would want to meet her.

Nita Sweeney (NS): What inspired you to write Say It Now?

Sherry Richert Belul (SRB): All my life I’ve attended funerals where people tell loving stories, show photos, and express their appreciation to the person who has died. It is beautiful and moving. I love those tributes. However, inevitably, loved ones would always express regret that that hadn’t said those things to the person when they were still alive.

I would always nod and say, “We need to say it now.”

I decided to do something about this. I decided to make it easy for people to express love and appreciation NOW. I decided to offer people creative, fun, simple, and inexpensive ways to show their love. That’s why I wrote the book!

NS: What message do you hope readers take away?

SRB: The main message, of course, is: Say it Now!

Seriously, life is fleeting and we never know how much time we have here on this planet. We never know when someone we love might suddenly pass away. I don’t say this to be morbid, but rather to ignite the part of us that wants to be more expressive, but is waiting for a special occasion, waiting to have more free time, or waiting to feel inspired before we step out of our comfort zone and let someone know how much they mean to us.

Life is challenging and uncertain. Many people we love are struggling to find more joy. Our love and attention are essential … RIGHT NOW.

interview: Sherry Richert Belul - woman holding book

Dear reader, please stop worrying about buying the perfect gift or finding tangible items to celebrate someone you love. What people want most in the world is to be seen and loved for exactly who they are. People want to know that they matter and that they’ve made a difference. The world stresses the importance of accolades, awards, and promotions. The world stresses material gifts. Those joys are fleeting. The best way you can celebrate someone is to show them how much of an impact they’ve had on you. You can let them know why you are so darned glad they are alive and in your life.

NS: Tell us about your company.

SRB: My company is called Simply Celebrate. My work is all about helping people find creative, intentional, and impactful ways to celebrate life and to express love for family and friends.

All too often, we’re taught to focus on goals we want to attain or tangible successes.

But most people at the end of life realize that what really matters is the relationships we’ve had and the moments of our lives when we’ve been present to the simple joys of life.

In the end, we hold dearly in our memories the family dinners when we laughed together over small stories of the day. We recall sitting in a café with a close friend, sharing books we love. We savor the memory of grandma’s apple strudel, mom’s beehive hairdo, the camping road trips in the rain, the scrawled-in-crayon love note from our child, kind words whispered to us on the phone.

We can get lulled into thinking that it is the “big events” that matter most — weddings, graduations, milestone birthdays. Sure, those are great to celebrate. But most of our life is about our day-to-day experiences and connections.

So why not cherish those moments now?

Our life moments are gifts. We can choose to be present to them and to celebrate them as they are happening. We can also choose to create magical moments as gifts to others. Celebration is not about some result we’ve earned or a state we’ve reached or a special occasion. Celebration is a practice. It is a way of life. Celebration is here, waiting for you, right now.

Don’t wait. Celebrate now. Say it now.

NS: What led you to this path?

SRB: Often when people hear the name of my company, Simply Celebrate, they think it’s all about confetti and balloons. They think I’m the sort of happy-go-lucky person who jumps out of bed in the morning, a grin on my face and a sparkle in my step.

Nope. Not true.

My work grew out of darkness, depression, and anxiety.

What led me to this path is that self-hate and extreme anxiety nearly killed me when I was a young woman. I was so tormented by thoughts in my head constantly telling me that I wasn’t living up to my potential, I wasn’t living the right life, I wasn’t doing or saying the right things, I wasn’t the right person. Basically, all my thoughts were always about what was wrong or missing in my life — and in me.

All I could think about was a way to get myself off this planet and out of all that pain. It felt like an iron wall was closing in on me.

By grace, I was led to a meditation class. During that class, I remember taking one deep breath in, and for a split second, I had a sense of okay-ness. I remember thinking, “I don’t want to kill myself.” That moment of relief was like a tiny pinprick of light in that heavy iron wall around me. (If you’ve ever been in the dark, you know that a tiny light makes all the difference.)

That moment made me realize that depression and anxiety are not solid. That my life is not one big thing. That it is comprised of tiny moments. And that I could see each moment as separate from the others.

I started practicing finding well-being in tiny moments.

Holding my cats and feeling them purr. Tasting the blueberry jam on my toast. Wrapping myself in the quilt Grandma made. Feeling the sun on my face. Hearing a bird chirp. Watching a butterfly flit by. Smelling the taste of lime.

Each of those moments I would think, “I’m okay. I don’t want to kill myself. Everything is okay right now.” After many months of practicing that, those moments became, “This is nice. I feel good. This is joy.”

After enough time passed, I realized that I didn’t have to wait for those moments of well-being or joy to land on me, I could create them. I started intentionally bringing more love and light into my life.

interview: Sherry Richert Belul - woman clasping glasses

I scheduled artist dates for myself where I got dressed up, went to the art museum, and treated myself to a chocolate popsicle fashioned after a sculpture on the rooftop garden. I bought myself bubble bath and candles and read great fiction while soaking in the tub. I took myself to the beach and created uplifting audio recordings for my future self to listen to. I went on walks and promised myself I’d find at least ten beautiful things.

Time passed. I kept practicing. My whole life changed.

From there, the best part of all happened: I got to a place in my life in which I could look up, look around, and see that there are a lot of people in the world who are in the dark and in need of a pinprick of light. People are grieving deaths, divorces, illness, and loss of all kinds. People are scared. People are anxious or worried.

I realized that I could offer pinpricks of light to people to help them in their own moments of darkness.

I sent surprise notes to friends, and tucked in funny photos to make them smile. I started writing love letters to strangers who were grieving or ill. I made dozens of lists of reasons why I love people and gave them to those people. I intentionally smiled at people I passed on the street. I hid money with kind notes for people to find in public parks or restrooms. I became a better listener and used my whole body and heart to be present with people during their hardest times.

That’s where my true work began. And today, I still need to practice finding pinpricks of light for myself.

Fortunately, often the best place to find that light is when I intentionally give it away.

NS: Writing (and life) can be stressful. How do you take care of yourself?

SRB: One of the best things I do for myself is to take myself on silent retreats. Back before the pandemic, I would go quarterly to a little cabin with no phone service or internet. I have to be more creative now, but I still prioritize finding ways to get off the grid, get off social media, get out of other people’s conversations and get quiet and still.

On a daily basis I give myself that stillness through formal meditation and also audio guided meditations.

I also make sure to start my day with quiet and with movement. I don’t look at emails, news, or social media for the first couple hours of the day. Instead, I dance, do yoga, write, meditate, read inspirational books, and practice gratitude.

For me, the best self-care is when I connect deeply to myself and listen as if I were my own best friend.

NS: Do you have a motto or slogan you find helpful? If so, how did you arrive at that?

SRB: “Never underestimate the power of a single pinpoint of light in the darkness.”

When I live by that motto, which was born out of necessity when I was deeply depressed, I can see that it is possible to drop fear, disappointment, and distress and take just a single moment to feel or offer love. Just one tiny moment of turning my attention to love and light sets me off in a new direction, if only for that moment!

Every moment is a chance to feel successful. Every moment is a chance to notice the color orange or see the hummingbird or hear the breeze through the trees. Every moment is a new chance to reach out to someone I’ve neglected or to start writing the next book.

interview: Sherry Richert Belul - smiling woman in front of parasol

I do not have to carry any stories from the past or future into this moment. When it stands on its own, it feels fresh. I feel new. Life feels possible.
Rinse and repeat!

NS: What’s the worst wellness (mental health, self-care) advice you’ve ever heard?

SRB: “Turn that frown upside down” can be the worst possible advice, depending on the circumstance. Sure, there are times when we may be suffering over made-up stories in our heads or because we are re-telling stories that don’t support us, however, there are plenty of times in life when what is called for is to let ourselves feel the grief, sadness, disappointment, or fear.

When well-meaning people try to “cheer us up” it can often be because they feel inadequate to sit with us in the pain. It has to do with them, not us.

We are human beings who feel a whole range of emotions. Cutting ourselves off from our feelings is not the path to happiness. It may sound counter-intuitive, but I’ve practiced finding joy within the hard times, within the sorrow. I call it “celebrating in the dark.”

Instead of trying to smile when I feel bad, I ask myself, “Honey, what do you need?” I try to be my own best friend. I might draw a hot bath, put in some eucalyptus oils, and set out a cozy robe. Or, I might call a good friend with whom I can be authentic and vulnerable. There is a quiet joy in being loved this way.

Being human is a complex and multi-layered experience. Each of us is the only person who knows in any given moment whether it serves us best to dive into the pain we feel or to try to move into another state of being. There is no one-size-fits-all for how to be in life! Letting yourself frown may be what moves you into an authentic smile after time. Or “faking it til you make it” might be the trick. Life happens in moments, remember! We can pay attention and act from there.

NS: What is one thing about coping you wish you’d learned earlier?

SRB: I wish I’d learned to ask for help earlier. I never want to be the person to bring other people down. I didn’t want to be the dark rain cloud overhead. But as I’ve grown older, I understand more and more what a gift it is when people ask for help and we get to show up for them. It feels good to be strong for someone else. When I ask for help, I give someone else the gift of strength. I never saw that aspect of coping before.

NS: Has your life turned out differently than you expected? If so, how?

SRB: Funny thing is, the content of my life looks very much like what I would have wanted it to look like if you’d asked me 40 years ago. I longed to be someone who wore hats and whimsical clothing, to live a creative life, filled with quirky events, art, music, bubbles, and dance.

I wanted to live in a city and feel like “That Girl” when she twirled in the street and threw her hat in the air.

(Sorry, you have to be over 50 to get that reference!)

Astonishingly, I somehow landed right where I longed to be.

However, the process of getting here was completely different than I’d imagined. I never would have guessed that depression and anxiety would be my life’s guides.

I thought I would effort my way to being who I wanted to be in the world. Instead, it took complete surrender.

I thought I’d write down my goals and feel happy when I checked things off the list and got to the end. Instead, I found the happiness in the tiny moments along the way. The process of becoming who I dreamed of was where the real riches live.

NS: Is there anything you would change about your journey?

SRB: Not a thing. I’ve practiced Zen for long enough to truly understand from an experiential place that everything in my life has supported and served me in getting to this moment. Every “failure,” every “humiliation,” every “misstep,” every “wrong turn,” every “waste of time,” helped me to know myself better and to recalibrate so that I could turn my face toward the light.

NS: What are you currently reading for inspiration?

SRB: I’m re-reading Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown for the third time. I am constantly honing in more deeply on the impact I want to have during my short time on this planet. This book is the perfect guide for that process.

On my morning and evening walks, I also listen to inspirational books. I just started Twla Tharp’s audio book, The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life. I’m ready for the next stage of my creative life to emerge and I suspect this book will help!

NS: Is there a wellness or inspirational book you couldn’t finish? Why?

SRB: One of the most popular books for pregnant women is called, What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I hated this beloved-by-so-many book. I read part of it and then donated it to Goodwill!

To me, this book seemed to be selling people on the idea that certain things might —or are likely to —happen to us on our journey. (And most of them were painful, scary or bad, if I recall correctly!)

I remember thinking, “I want to have my own experience of pregnancy. I don’t want to have it in my head that at a certain stage my ankles are likely to swell. Then, I’ll be examining my ankles, thinking, “Ouch, yes, I think they are swelling, just when they’re supposed to according to my book of how my life is going to unfold.” (My ankles never got swollen when I was pregnant!)

I know that book is super popular, but it seems dangerous to me for any of us to offer a blueprint of any kind to another human being. Once someone has it in their head that something is likely to go a certain way, it is really hard for that person to have their own experience.

NS: What wellness book could you not put down?

SRB: Oh, goodness! Hundreds of them! My shelves are well stocked with wellness books that have been lifesavers at just the perfect time.

Two books started me on my personal growth journey, so I will give an appreciative nod to them. The first is The Tao of Pooh. This book was recommended to me by a stranger late one night when I was in college and feeling completely lost in my life. I was straddling trying to be like everyone else (unsuccessfully!) and trying to find the “real” me.

Reading The Tao of Pooh started me on my now lifetime commitment to Eastern thought and meditation.

The second book was one that I was given during that suicidal period I talked about previously. This is the book that literally led me to that meditation class in which I had the “pinprick of light in the iron wall” moment. It is a book by Cheri Huber called That Which You are Seeking is Causing You to Seek. Cheri is a bit of a renegade Zen teacher and she has a wonderful sense of humor. She focuses on helping people get it that there is truly nothing wrong with them.

(Can I repeat that? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!)

That book, her meditation class, and her guidance over the past 30 years have literally transformed my life.

NS: What’s next for you writing wise?

SRB: I’m starting work this week on a newfangled gratitude journal. This is a gratitude journal like no other! I’ve developed more than a dozen practices that go way beyond the “write three things you’re grateful for each day” philosophy. I think the planet needs some fresh, creative ideas for bringing more appreciation and practical gratitude into people’s daily lives. This isn’t just listing things we’re grateful for, it is about putting gratitude into action. You’ll see!

NS: Do you have any other tips for how to cope with depression or sadness or a sense of failure/regret?

SRB: Nita, thank you for asking that! I do!

At one of my low, low points in life, when I was feeling like a failure as a writer (pile of rejection slips on my desk!), a failure in my marriage (splitting up with hubby when our son was only two years old), a failure as a friend (I felt like that dark rain cloud I mentioned up above), and just an overall a big loser … I took myself to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk and just sat and sobbed and sobbed.

However, I LOVE all of the smell of boardwalks — the cotton candy and apple fritters and pretzels and popcorn! And I LOVE all the colors of the boardwalk and the sounds of the boardwalk. I LOVE Laughing Sal with her hearty guffaws and fancy apron.

At one point I stopped crying, looked around, and said to myself, “You know what? You don’t have to be a successful anything.

You could get a job here at the Boardwalk at the Apple Fritter stand and ride a rusted, orange, fat-tired bike to work. Shery, you could wear flowers and plaids and not care that they don’t match. Or, you could wear whimsical hats and spend your days trying to make people laugh. You could hear people’s stories all day long and listen intently. And at night, you’d go home to piles of great books and two purring cats.

That day my alter ego was born: The Apple Fritter Lady.

And whenever the voices in my head start to clamor and clatter about how not this and how not that I am — i.e what a loser I am — I remember that I could just quit everything and move to the Boardwalk to become the Apple Fritter Lady.

interview: Sherry Richert Belul - woman laughing

Here’s the real secret: I don’t really have to quit everything and I don’t really have to move. I just have to change my perspective and align with the spirit and values of the Apple Fritter Lady. Then, I feel better! My definition of “success” gets recalibrated to who I really am and what I really want.

So my tip is, find yourself an alter ego! (I’m serious. Really. Make that happen for yourself!)

AND FINALLY:

NS: Mermaids or Goddesses? (Superheroes or Gods?)

SRB: Neither! Hummingbirds please.

NS: Toast or bagels?

SRB: Both! Yum! Jam, too, please.

NS: Ocean, mountains, or forest?

SRB: Oceans enchant and entrance me. Oh, yes, please, let me walk on the sandy beach beside one or on the cliffs that tower above the waves.

NS: Leggings or jeans? (Jeans or slacks or sweatpants?)

SRB: Dresses every day! Or maybe some funky, wide-legged capris.

NS: Dogs, cats, fish, guinea pigs, or horses?

SRB: I love the mystery and independence of cats. Though I have had several very dog-like cats who love to be petted and tummy-rubbed.

About Sherry Richert Belul

Sherry Richert Belul, founder of Simply Celebrate, helps people find creative, intentional and impactful ways to celebrate life and to express love for family and friends. As a certified high performance coach, Sherry supports people in living their best lives, full of joy, success, engagement, and meaningful relationships. She is the author of Say it Now: 33 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to the Most Important People in Your Life. Her work has been featured in the New York Times, Town + Country, and The Wall Street Journal.

Website: http://www.simplycelebrate.net

Offer: Express Your love + feel good today with this LoveList Toolkit

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https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherryrichertbelul/

https://www.youtube.com/sherrybelul


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Author Interview: Lynda Allen

Author Interview: Lynda Allen

Author Interview: Lynda Allen

I interview wellness authors to find out what makes them tick and why they write the books they do. Lynda Allen regularly attends the weekly Mango Publishing Heart Wisdom author panels. Her insightful questions and caring approach to any topic impressed and intrigued me. Certain you will want to get to know her too, I asked her to participate in this series.

Nita Sweeney (NS): Tell us about your most recent book.

Lynda Allen (LA): My newest book is Grace Reflected, a collection of poetry and essays.

NS: What made you want to write this book?

LA: Writing is part of my being. So, there was no one thing that made me want to write the new collection. With poetry, I simply write as I go along through my days, especially during my morning writing time. Then there seems to be a point when I feel that the poems reach a tipping point and want to gather together in a collection. Once I get that feeling, I look back through the poems I’ve written and start listening for the order and flow.

NS: What message do you hope readers take away?

LA: I hope the words of the poems and essays will speak to the reader’s heart, will share insights with them, and will challenge and inspire them. The collection is a journey through the places I find grace reflected in my life. Sometimes I find it reflected in nature and in moments of spiritual connection, and sometimes I find it in the depths of grief or in spiritual activism.

The words surprised me over and over again with their beginnings in rage or sorrow and their endings in steps on the path to healing and forgiveness. Those forces come together through love in the words of these poems – empathy and anger, rage and forgiveness, the words offer me a path that can hold them all and allow them to coexist in a way that encourages action from love or grace.

That’s why the title for the collection is Grace Reflected. It’s not only a reflection of the sources of grace in my life, it is grace itself moving through my heart in the form of words offering me that path to healing and a reflection of wholeness. It is a reminder that is also found in the image on the cover of the book.

While the reflection of the swan looks different than the swan itself, distorted by the movement of the water, if the swan became still, the reflection would then show the swan, unbroken and whole. So, my hope is that these poems and essays will offer a reflection of what is unbroken and whole within each of us and the healing and hope that knowing offers.

NS: What led you to this path?

LA: I never imagined myself as a writer or poet. It happened, quite literally, overnight. One day I wasn’t a writer and the next day I was.

One day I had never written a poem before and the next I started writing poetry and never stopped.

It happened when I went through a spiritual discernment process guided by the friend. It was a process that invited me to listen for a question through meditation and stillness that my heart wanted to ask and then listening again for an answer. The question that arose for me at that time was, “What is mine to do to be happy?” The answer I heard was only one word: write. I had no idea how writing would make me happy, especially because I wasn’t a writer!

All I knew was that I was willing to find out what it meant. I believe that willingness and the yes that accompanied it, were the keys that unlocked one of my soul’s greatest joys. The very next morning I began to write. It was as if a dam had burst, and my heart was flooded with words. It was a powerful and slightly disorienting experience!

NS: Writing (and life) can be stressful. How do you take care of yourself?

LA: I have a short writing and meditation practice that I begin most days with. I make sure I spend time in nature observing, learning, communing, and absorbing. Finally, I take walks for exercise, for listening to audiobooks, and for the time spent outside.

NS: Do you have a motto or slogan you find helpful? If so, how did you arrive at that?

LA: My motto is to Live Heartfully! For me, that means following my internal Heart Compass. The image of the Heart Compass is an image I carried around in my mind for a while years ago and one day finally drew it on paper. I showed it to a friend, and she said it would make a nice necklace, which hadn’t occurred to me! So, I had it made and wore it every day for a couple years as a daily reminder of my intention to live from and create from the heart. It helped me transform how I live.

NS: Tell us about your other work.

LA: In addition to being a writer, I am also an artist and make jewelry. Last year I decided it was time to figure out how to make the Heart Compass necklace available to others to help them transform their lives too. So, I set about learning how to solder sterling silver, and now I make the necklaces for others!

As an artist, one of my favorite things to paint are what I call Animal Wisdom Journals. I feel a very deep connection to animals of all kinds. So, years ago I put together my connection with animals and my art in the form of these journals. They are custom made for each person. I sit in meditation while holding the person in my thoughts and invite an animal to come forward to work with that person in the form of the journal. Then I paint and burn the image of the animal into the cover of a leather journal. On the inside I also include information about the animal and the wisdom it offers.

NS: What is one thing about well-being you wish you’d learned earlier?

LA: I wish I had learned the practices of mindfulness and meditation earlier. Learning to live mindfully and developing a regular meditation practice helped transform my life and how I live it in such positive ways. My days are much more peaceful. My greatest, ongoing mindfulness challenge and peace practice is driving!

NS: Do you have a writing tip for the writers out there?

LA: For me, writing is all about listening. So, I would say, practice your listening skills. There are stories all around us all the time waiting to be told. There is wisdom and insight within us waiting to be shared.

Be still and listen for both.

NS: Has your life turned out differently than you expected? If so, how?

LA: Absolutely, and in too many ways to list! ???? The biggest surprise was discovering that I am a poet.

NS: What are you currently reading for inspiration?

LA: Sacred Instructions: Indigenous Wisdom for Living Spirit-Based Change by Sherri Mitchell and Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer

NS: What wellness book could you not put down?

LA: Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh. It is a book that changed my life. I learned so much about how to bring peace into everything I do, which some days I’m more successful at than others!

NS: What’s next for you writing wise?

LA: I’m currently seeking representation for a mystery novel, which is the first in a series, and I’m always writing poetry.

AND FINALLY:

NS: Mermaids or Goddesses?

LA: Mermaids. I love the ocean!

NS: Toast or bagels?

LA: Either, because in the end they are both just vehicles for butter!

NS: Ocean, mountains, or forest?

LA: It’s too difficult a choice. I could narrow it down to ocean and forest.

NS: Leggings or jeans?

LA: Jeans, definitely.

NS: Dogs, cats, fish, guinea pigs, or horses?

LA: Sloths. I adore sloths. If we’re talking strictly pets, then cats.

ABOUT LYNDA ALLEN

Lynda Allen is first and foremost a listener. All of her work whether it’s writing, art, creating Animal Wisdom Journals, or leading meditation begins with deep listening. Lynda listens to her own inner knowing and wisdom, the natural world, and the still, small voice of the Divine in the silence. She listens. Then she creates. In all of her creations she strives to inspire others to open their hearts and embrace their journey, both the dark and the light, with gentleness, love, and joy.

Her new collection of poetry and essays Grace Reflected is now available.

She is also the author of three other poetry collections Wild Divinity, Illumine, and Rest in the Knowing, as well as The Rules of Creation, a guidebook to living life from spirit.

Lynda Allen Books

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can learn more about the many offerings of Lynda’s heart at her website www.lyndaallen.net, follow her on Instagram @heartfullylynda, or join her All 4/1 Facebook group.

 



If you purchase something through the affiliate links on this page, Write Now Columbus, a collection of resources for central Ohio writers and readers, will receive a small percentage of the sale.

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